Player 1: It’s easy, I’ll teach you. First we divide the territory cards equitably: 15 for me and 2 for you.
Player 2: But I don’t feel like playing…
Player 1: But you have no choice. [rolls dice] Eight! I’m going to build on this land in East Jerusalem.
Player 2: But you don’t have the right to build, it’s not your land!
Player 1: Ah yes, sorry, well, it’s too late. I already built.
Player 2: Ok, well my turn [rolls dice] Three! Take a “Chance” card: “The United Nations passes a resolution giving you back one territory and you get to draw another card.” [pulls card] Bad luck. It says “The United States vetoes the resolution. Give back 8 more territories.”
Player 1: My turn! [rolls dice] Double 6! I buy the electricity company and now I can annoy Gaza by constantly turning the power on and off.
Player 2: Ok, my turn [rolls] – a two – Nablus. I buy and build a little village.
Player 1: My turn! Twelve!
Player 2: But you didn’t even roll the dice!
Player 1: No need! I bulldoze your village and build a colony of 17 houses.
Player 2: But you don’t have the right! It’s in the rules!
Player 1: But who cares about the rules? I roll a seven, pass Go and collect four million dollars.
Player 2: But it’s normally just two thousand shekels.
Player 1: Yeah, for you.
Player 2: Ok, my turn [rolls]. Seven [begins moving piece] … one .. two… what the? What’s this wall?
Player 1: You can’t go any further.
Player 2: I have no chance. When does this game finish?
Player 1: Never!
“The Israeli Embassy’s extension”
This sketch is from the BBC Three program The Revolution Will Be Televised, which describes itself as a series “bringing corruption, greed and hypocrisy to the fore. Politicians, multinationals and tax-shy corporations who have been taking the public for a ride for years are now on the receiving end.”
The Guardiansays that the “joy” of the series is “its utter chutzpah.”